day 48 - bracing for isaac

Well today's post is written under quite different circumstances that normal. In case you live under a rock, Tropical Storm, soon to be Hurricane Isaac, is currently on a direct path for the Keys. I made my preparations last night - aka I bought pretzel chips, Luna bars, cereal and bottled water - and then bar crawled today. I'm not a hurricane virgin, but this is my first major storm in Key West. I was in Miami for the terrible hurricane season of 2005, but Chartwells packed us nonperishable meals and we lived in concrete buildings with permanent hurricane shutters. Obviously the necessary preparation on my part was very little. I do however, remember one eye opener I had that year. The weekend before classes started, my mom and I were at the Dadeland Target elbow to elbow with every other UM freshman and their parents, attempting to furnish our 6' by 6' dorm rooms and stock up on "necessities" before our parents (i.e. our wallets) left town. My mom looked and me and said "Why is everyone buying flashlights?" I giggled and dismissed her question, thinking it was just silly and frivolous. Just a couple short months later, I woke up after Wilma hit, slipped on the water from my thawed mini-fridge, and realized we were without power. That's when I caught on to the flashlight thing.It doesn't happen often, but that time, mom and I were outsmarted. :)

Anyway - this time I have candles, I think there's a flashlight somewhere, I made lots of extra ice, and I bought some non-perishables. Can't lie, I wouldn't have complained if someone had the boxed lunches prepped for me this go around! Since I have been cooking almost all of my meals at home and eating a diet of mostly fruits/veggies/lean proteins, shopping for foods that don't go bad was kind of shocking. Conclusion - If it doesn't go bad, it's probably bad for you! (Nuts being one of the only exceptions.) So I'll be on carb overload if we lose power, but eh well, doesn't count if there's no other options. I did NOT choose to use the "doesn't count" excuse for drinking. I did contemplate a one-day free pass, but decided I would regret it immediately after the first sip.

Fat Tuesday - Stop #2 on the Isaac Bar Crawl (I had a Virgin Daiquiri which turned out to be just a waste of calories lol)

So I'm 7 weeks in, and in the past week I've conquered a weekend in Miami and now a tourist-free Duval Street Hurricane Party Bar Crawl. My experiences are different than they would be with drinking, but I do not feel like I'm missing out on anything. 

Walking around Brickell Key last weekend - LOVED this walk. (Drinking Kendall wouldn't have worked out multiple times on a weekend vacation! Especially with open bar on the club level...)

I feel lucky and healthy and alert. If I feel all those things 24 hours from now, instead of hot and in the dark, I'll be very happy! Crossing my fingers for power and safety on our little island during/after the storm.

day 39

I'm officially on cruise control. I no longer have to tell myself not to go straight to the wine aisle in Fausto's. I no longer have doubts that I will finish successfully. I no longer even miss getting buzzed at happy hour.  Before I started typing this post, I even had to count on a calendar to know that today is day 39.  Ok, ok...yes, I still really (really) miss red wine. Now I drink LaCroix with fresh lemons and limes while I cook, instead of my typical half bottle of red. A water bottle sits on my nightstand, instead of the remaining half bottle of red. No calories, no artificial sweeteners, no guilt, no hangover. Everyone asks if I'll go back to drinking after the year is up; I can only give you my day 39 answer which is subject to change. Day 39's answer is that red wine will most definitely be added back in, on day 366, in moderation. At this point, I do not see hard liquor or beer making it's way back in at all. 

A few posts ago I spoke about how most of us tolerate letting ourselves down regularly, but we strive to not let others down. My main point being we should aim to succeed for ourselves as much as we do for others. This topic has been something I've thought about more in-depth recently in terms of my life. This at-first seemingly impossible (to me) challenge ranks up in my top 5 selfish life-decisions along with: going to UM for college, joining ADPi, not following the public accounting path I was on, and moving to Key West. Yes, I used the word selfish. And no, I don't mean it in a bad way. "Selfish" gets a bad rap, and I think that's just silly! Let me explain myself. Who do I sleep with every night? Myself. Who's bills am I responsible for? My own. Who has to throw up when I pound 14 firebombs? Again, me. Who's jeans get tighter when I make poor eating choices? Ugh, mine! Seems simple right? Well, if I have to pay for all the negative outcomes coming from my decisions, then I'm going to be SELFISH and make decisions that impact me positively. My mom's mom (Nanny) always told me that I had to love myself before I could love anyone else. A little selfish right? However, I've come to find that statement is so true. I may be simplifying things a bit much, but I'd say it's a decent argument. Don't think that I see no good in selflessness, I absolutely do. How can I give to someone in need if I have not first taken care of myself? 

Flight attendants have always known this lesson. Does anyone pay attention during their speech? Well, I guess it's a video now, but I remember the real speeches with props and all! "In case of a loss in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it covering your mouth and nose. Breath normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others." I remember thinking as a child "What the f***? My mom wouldn't make sure I was okay first?!" (Yep, I thought in obscenities at a young age.) But now I understand, you must serve yourself so you can serve others. Do you know any good leaders who aren't a little selfish? That's why they are fit, productive, and seem to have it "all going on". Ah, it all makes sense now. As is true in so many aspects of life, balance is necessary when it comes to selflessness and selfishness. 

day 32 - month two begins!

Wow, already one month down! If I can do that, it's smooth sailing from here. Things have been fairly uneventful since my last post. I will say however, that my first "cranky" days snuck up on me in the past week. This was kind of reality check, because each day had been so sublime the first few weeks. (No, to all the assuming men out there, I was not PMSing.) I think the novelty of the lifestyle change had worn off a bit, and everyday annoyances started crawling under my skin as they had in my drinkin' days. Seems like a bit of the American in me was rearing it's ugly head - wanting a 180 degree difference immediately. 

I had to remind myself of a few things:
1. Tourists are still going to ask 1 million annoying questions a day. I can't change that and shouldn't let it bother me so much. They aren't from here, and they can't help the fact that they think a swimming costume and waterproof tampons are snorkel trip necessities.
2. I'm not Superwoman. My mood will occasionally fluctuate, sometimes I'm going to be tired, and some days will always be better than others. 
3. I can't make drunk or hungover people smell any better. Alcohol-stink is just a hazard of drinking, and being insanely aware of the smell is a hazard of sobriety!
3. I'm not going to wake up a Size 6 tomorrow just because I made habit changes a month ago. The change is gradual and I have to enjoy the journey, and all the small changes along the way. 

Whatever my funk was, I obviously over thought it, came out with some new conclusions and I'm officially feeling wonderful again (and it didn't take me a bottle of wine to get back there). An upcoming Miami getaway with Dad next weekend isn't hurting my mood either. My travel bug has been severely suppressed since moving to Key West, so even two days in a city I called home for four years gets me all excited! I told my dad we should go to the Miami Zoo and he said "Wow, I wish you were still drinking." Dad, I love ya, but a weekend with you without beer, wine and shots involved could be quite the (challenging) experience!

Epic Hotel - Our destination next weekend - complimentary wine happy hour - that's just cruel.

Looks like my travel bug will have to stay in hiding for a little while longer, as I recently decided to stay in Key West for another year. I had originally planned on leaving at the end of this year, but changes at work have encouraged me to stay. I'll keep on missin' my Momma, but I can't complain about another year on the island. After that, my plan is a year in Thailand to teach English. Then maybe I'll settle into a "normal" job, or maybe not. We'll see! Until then, I'm planning little trips and making mom visit as frequently as possible. After Miami, next planned trip is NYC the first weekend of November. Barclay, Dad, Giants football, a Broadway show, shopping and Autumn weather in the city. Can't wait! I also need to get my booty up to New Orleans to see the up-and-coming Dr.Chau, location TBD to see Ms. Ames, and a Hurricanes Football Game (or two) this Fall. 

Those trips will all take place in month 3 and beyond; however, I hope month 2 has as many wonderful times, revelations, and positive strides as month 1. I'm confident that it will. 

day 24

Thought I fell off, huh? It's been a busy busy week in paradise. I am also stuck typing my posts on my phone unless I bring my work laptop home, and since I was off for THREE days the laptop was nowhere near me! (Maybe I should stop being cheap and by myself a laptop with all this moolah I'm saving!) But I didn't want to go another day without a post, because I don't want to forget any amazing stories or new ideas I've come across. So here I am, wearing out my thumbs, clicking away on my phone.

Rest assured that I have not fallen nor faltered in any way. My resolve is still strong and I feel that the biggest struggle is behind me. I will say that having a visitor in town has provided the most temptation. Three days off, a boat day, relaxing poolside, happy hour after our jet-ski tour, and nice dinners with even better wine lists, all with a wonderful friend whom I barely ever get to spend time with. I don't know about you, but those are all sound like pretty fabulous drinking excuses to me. However I can say with 100% confidence that I have enjoyed her visit to the fullest and much more than I ever could have before I stopped drinking. We have packed a LOT into the past few days! We even took Zumba together and walked a ton - talk about a healthy visit!

Island Ting Trip this Tuesday - the water was like glass!

On the friendship topic comes another epiphany I've had recently. I have realized I am a much better friend now because I have the time and energy to be "present". In the past few weeks I've spoken to, skyped or texted at length with three of my college roommates that I miss SO dearly, not to mention countless other friends. I hope I was never a bad friend, I just wasn't always good at keeping in touch when life happened (Thanks Sara!). I've been so incredibly lucky to have many amazing friends from home, college and now Key West. It is so heartwarming to hear about the journeys they are all embarking on, the love they are experiencing and the successes they are enjoying. The meditations continuously speak to being present and opening yourself to love - and I am really reaping the benefits of it!

After a wonderful seafood feast at Half Shell

A million more things to say, but the Olympics are distracting me, so I'll keep it short. It will not be another 8 days before I post again! Don't miss the moon tonight - its gorgeous.

Paddle boarding at Man Key (note: I did not post pictures of me struggling to stand up/falling off at first)