day 39

I'm officially on cruise control. I no longer have to tell myself not to go straight to the wine aisle in Fausto's. I no longer have doubts that I will finish successfully. I no longer even miss getting buzzed at happy hour.  Before I started typing this post, I even had to count on a calendar to know that today is day 39.  Ok, ok...yes, I still really (really) miss red wine. Now I drink LaCroix with fresh lemons and limes while I cook, instead of my typical half bottle of red. A water bottle sits on my nightstand, instead of the remaining half bottle of red. No calories, no artificial sweeteners, no guilt, no hangover. Everyone asks if I'll go back to drinking after the year is up; I can only give you my day 39 answer which is subject to change. Day 39's answer is that red wine will most definitely be added back in, on day 366, in moderation. At this point, I do not see hard liquor or beer making it's way back in at all. 

A few posts ago I spoke about how most of us tolerate letting ourselves down regularly, but we strive to not let others down. My main point being we should aim to succeed for ourselves as much as we do for others. This topic has been something I've thought about more in-depth recently in terms of my life. This at-first seemingly impossible (to me) challenge ranks up in my top 5 selfish life-decisions along with: going to UM for college, joining ADPi, not following the public accounting path I was on, and moving to Key West. Yes, I used the word selfish. And no, I don't mean it in a bad way. "Selfish" gets a bad rap, and I think that's just silly! Let me explain myself. Who do I sleep with every night? Myself. Who's bills am I responsible for? My own. Who has to throw up when I pound 14 firebombs? Again, me. Who's jeans get tighter when I make poor eating choices? Ugh, mine! Seems simple right? Well, if I have to pay for all the negative outcomes coming from my decisions, then I'm going to be SELFISH and make decisions that impact me positively. My mom's mom (Nanny) always told me that I had to love myself before I could love anyone else. A little selfish right? However, I've come to find that statement is so true. I may be simplifying things a bit much, but I'd say it's a decent argument. Don't think that I see no good in selflessness, I absolutely do. How can I give to someone in need if I have not first taken care of myself? 

Flight attendants have always known this lesson. Does anyone pay attention during their speech? Well, I guess it's a video now, but I remember the real speeches with props and all! "In case of a loss in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it covering your mouth and nose. Breath normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others." I remember thinking as a child "What the f***? My mom wouldn't make sure I was okay first?!" (Yep, I thought in obscenities at a young age.) But now I understand, you must serve yourself so you can serve others. Do you know any good leaders who aren't a little selfish? That's why they are fit, productive, and seem to have it "all going on". Ah, it all makes sense now. As is true in so many aspects of life, balance is necessary when it comes to selflessness and selfishness.